When a relationship is great, it’s fantastic. When it’s not great, it’s awful. If you’re going to enter into the world of romantic relationships, then you have to accept that things won’t always be absolutely incredible. After all, all relationships go through difficult periods.
With that said, it’s not as if you just have to accept the ups and downs of a relationship. While a few low moments are inevitable, you can limit their frequency — and intensity — by actively investing time and energy into the health of your relationship.
In this post, we’ll run through some handy tips that’ll help to keep the spark alive and ensure that love is never too far from your heart!
Do Your Own Thing
Now, the idea of doing your own thing might sound like an unusual piece of advice for a relationship. But hear us out.
Couples can quickly run into trouble when one partner sees the other as their entire world. The fact is, no one person — or anything, for that matter — can be everything to another person. If you put all of your happiness in your partner, then it’s all but guaranteed that eventually, you’ll run into issues.
Instead, make sure that you’re also doing things for yourself. For instance, spending time with friends, engaging in hobbies, even going on trips by yourself. If your partner really cares for you, they’ll understand. And of course, you should also let your partner have the freedom to do things for themselves, too.
Take Time Each Month To Communicate
Romantic relationships are complicated. They’re also one of the most important things in our lives.
As such, it’s unusual that so many couples simply let their relationship run on autopilot. You’d have to be very lucky to have a great relationship without engaging in any “management.” An easy way to prevent problems and move forward with positivity is to set aside some time each month to check in with each other about how you feel your relationship is going, what you want more of, any grievances, and so on. It doesn’t have to be an overly serious evening — order some food, open a bottle of wine, and make it fun.
Do Something Spontaneous
Many people believe, incorrectly, that couples are destined to live boring lives. For one thing, anyone can lead a boring life — there are plenty of single people who aren’t exactly shaking the world’s foundations. A lack of spontaneity can happen in any scenario where people feel settled.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s always possible to inject a bit of spontaneity into your romantic life. Could you take a last-minute trip to a nearby city, for instance, or do an activity that you’ve never done before? It’s not about having an amazing time, just about doing something different. You’d be surprised at how much of an impact this can have on a couple’s overall happiness.
At-Home Date Ideas
Remember back when you first started dating, and you’d have all those fun and interesting dates? Once you’re firmly a couple, it’s easy to fall into the trap of just watching TV at night or staring at your individual devices.
One of the most effective ways to keep the spark alive is to bring the same level of enthusiasm and energy to an evening as you did when you first started dating. For instance, could you light some candles, lock away your devices, and ask each other deeply personal questions? The 36 questions to fall in love are a good starting point. It’s designed for strangers, but anyone can use them, so set aside an evening to get to know one another better.
Engage In Intimacy
There’s nothing that will help to bring a couple closer together than engaging in intimacy. You’ll have made that part of date night when you first started dating, so there’s no reason why it shouldn’t form part of your lives just because you’ve been going out for years!
One option is to give each other a full body massage. Don’t know what you’re doing? Check out a YouTube tutorial — they’re easier than you might think. You could also simply spend all day in bed, like you did in the early days. You never know when these opportunities are going to come around, so look at picking up some scream cream and massage oil so that you’re ready to have a sensual, intimate experience whenever the opportunity presents itself. Looking for a straightforward way to reconnect? Try staring into each other’s eyes for as long as you can.
Kill Your Bad Traits
We all have those friends who complain about their relationship, yet don’t fully realize that they actively contribute to its awfulness. Think of the friend who gets into fights with her boyfriend because she demands to see his phone, or who tells his girlfriend she can’t speak to one of her male friends.
These behaviors are more widespread than you might think, which might suggest why most relationships end so badly. If you want to have a good relationship, then you need to kill the sides of yourself that will lead to a bad relationship.
That’s not always easy, but you can nudge yourself in the right direction by reminding yourself of a very simple, undeniable fact, which is that you do not own your partner.
Admit Your Mistakes
As much as you’d like to think otherwise, you are not going to be a perfect partner. You’ll make mistakes.
Making mistakes isn’t the worst thing in the world. What kills relationships is when the person won’t simply admit they were wrong. You can maintain that you are right and everyone else is wrong if you like, but you’ll cause damage to your relationship — and it won’t be all that surprising if, eventually, there is simply too much damage to repair.
Look At Things Positively
It’s easy to believe that your romantic partner is perfect during the first few months of dating. After all, you’re so smitten with them that you only notice their good traits. In fact, if you were to be asked about what their bad sides are, you’d probably answer that they don’t have any.
But of course, they do. Once you notice them, it’s easy to start focusing on those less-than-perfect points. In a healthy relationship, it’s the good sides that are amplified. Be aware of and accept their bad sides, but when you look at them, it should be the better angels of their nature that you see.
Give Them Happy Surprises
As you’ll have gathered from other pieces of advice on this list, we’re big believers that, while a relationship should develop, there’s a lot of value in retaining many of the things that you did when the relationship was young. You most likely picked up small presents and treats for them “just because” back then, so why not do it now? It doesn’t have to be their birthday to get them a gift!
Remember: Love is a Gift
Relationships take work, and they’re not always perfect, but we’d bet that you’re happier to be in love than not to be. Remember that there are plenty of people all throughout society who never even go on a date, let alone fall in love. You’re a lucky person to have a partner, so don’t take it for granted — there may well be a day when you lose your partner forever, so cherish them and give them all your love while you can.
What do you think?